so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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