I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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