You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize