I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize