My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize