I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
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At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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