I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize