btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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