yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
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It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
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You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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