I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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