Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
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I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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