You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize