Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize