Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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