I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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