just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize