life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You smell like stripper and shame
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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