I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
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I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
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We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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