You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
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I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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