it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize