you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize