Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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