soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
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I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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