He told me they were just razor bumps!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize