need another drink. this is the easiest way
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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