I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
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It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
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Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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