Christians are straight up FREAKS
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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