Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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