well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
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If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
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He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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