Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize