sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
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I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
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Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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