I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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