I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize