pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
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