So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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