i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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