the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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