If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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