My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize