'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize