I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
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