fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
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Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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