I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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