week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize