I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize