Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize