Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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