I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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