we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize