idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
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Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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